A Giant problem…..

My son is a Seattle Seahawks fan. He became one on the way to Hawaii from Minnesota one year when the Seahawks were in the Superbowl, and we happened to be in the Seattle airport on a layover at that exact time. I guess he got caught up in with the enthusiasm of all the people there. I like them too, but consider myself an on again/off again long suffering Vikings fan. I was there for all of their Superbowl losses, and many disappointing playoffs, not to mention some Jim Dandy seasons. They acted like they won the Superbowl last Sunday when they won a preseason game over the 49er’s by one point. I guess you take what you can get.

vikings two

This morning on the way to school, he announced to me that he has a second favorite team, the New York Giants. The conversation went something like this:

“Dad, I think I have a new team that I like, but I still like the Seahawks more.” He said.

“Who is that, buddy?” I questioned.

“I think I like the Giants. I think they are a pretty good team”. he happily answered.

“You don’t want to like them because they play dirty. They are not a nice team” was my reply.

“But Dad, you don’t even watch them. Why would you say that?”

He, of course, was right. I haven’t watched them play for I don’t remember how long, but I have been carrying a grudge ever since I thought they carried out what I considered to be dirty football on the hapless Vikings. That was many years ago. Any reasonable person would be thinking they don’t have one single person on the roster or in management now that was there then. That makes me unreasonable. In this case, as in many others, it’s true.

Now I am teaching my son how to hold a grudge.

It’s funny how we hang on to things that no longer are true. Much of the World is in disharmony because of it. Long standing grievances, injustices, misinformation, or just plain stupidity. I need look no further than myself to see that I am a bundle of judgments and opinions based on my perception of an event or events in the past. They may not even have been mine but planted into my head by the misinformed opinion of someone else. (Like I am now doing with my son).

This is very similar to living in the moment. If you are truly living in the moment, then past judgment is gone, because you now acquiring new judgments in the moment, not dragging them from the past. I have a hard time living in the moment. If I am not thinking of some future event which I think I have control over (but I don’t), I am mulling over something that happened in the past (again, which I have no control over). Living in the present doesn’t mean just stopping to smell the flowers. It’s more about being aware of what’s real or not, what’s happening right now, and not a future or past event. Having control of your opinions. Having the wisdom when to talk, and when to listen.

They say with age you gain wisdom, but is it the right kind. My guess is that it takes real wisdom to know the difference.

It was a real eye opener for me this morning. Instead of a Father interested in his son’s discoveries and having a positive discussion about it, I was teaching him to hold grudges,  give opinions without merit, and start to question his ability to make a good decision.

In hindsight, the conversation should have gone something like this:

“Dad, I think I have a new team that I like, but I still like the Seahawks more.” He said.

“Who is that, buddy?” I questioned.

“I think I like the Giants. I think they are a pretty good team”. he happily answered.

I would answer “That’s great buddy, I hear they are a pretty good team too. Why don’t you tell me about them. Maybe next time they play, we could watch them together.”

“I would like that, Dad.”

“Me too buddy.”

should_i_quit_watching_football_for_my_kids

Creating memories is a huge responsibility. Like a first impression, it can’t be changed.

I thought it was a Giant problem, but it was mine all along….

 

 

 

 

 

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