This morning I woke up out of balance. Like a tire out of round, my mind was going thump thump thump instead of smooth. I am struggling with the “do” part of me against the “let it be” part of me. You would think that with all the big talk I do about it, I should have no problem, but I do. Every day.
But today was different. I made the decision yesterday to start a new journey. Not geographically, but something to fulfill the “do” part of me. It wouldn’t be a big deal, I have started lots of stuff, but I was struggling with my usual “keep it a secret until it’s done” with “this might be something I want to share with my friends”. We have all been there. And you know why it’s a struggle. If you share your new job, new love, your book, your new haircut, what ever, you open yourself up to peer criticism, the hardest kind on an ego. And also the fear of failing. No one knows but you if you were the only one who knew. On the other hand, if you don’t share and keep it a secret, you might miss two opportunities. One, maybe learn what someone else may know about it and share with you. And two, you might be helping someone out with an answer for their life. At the very least, I will be somewhat accountable if it’s out in the open. That can be a strong motivator in itself.
So I took my struggle to the beach hoping for an answer. I hadn’t been there for about a week, too busy with kids and my new venture. I was pleasantly surprised to find the Pavillion still standing and the beach was filling back up where there had been only trees and stumps.
In fact, I like the new look of the Pavillion better now. (Picture at the top). Where there used to be a huge drop off to the water, now it slopes gently and gives the Pavillion a more beachy feel. Mother Nature knew what’s best.
On my 45 minute walk, I tried to “Let it be” and just take in the beauty and ground myself with the Earth. I encountered a small dead fish, which is rare to see on shore, and thought about life has a beginning and an end, and felt bad for the fish. I encountered small pieces of plastic washed up, and thought how fragile the environment is, and we as humans have to take the lead in preserving it. I walked past a young girl, also walking, and as we passed I noticed she had an air hose that she was breathing from, and a medical back pack I assume carried a tank. She was probably about 20. I thought that no matter how you might be feeling, there is always someone else with their struggles and hurdles. It made me feel good to be alive. We take ourselves way too seriously sometimes.
Did I get the answer I wanted? I think so. You will know it if I release the post titled Journey of a thousand miles.
When I got home and started this post, I felt like I had just come from the shop getting an alignment and a balance. I guess it’s all about perspective. But at least now I know what to do when I get Out of balance. How about you?